Receiving a divorce petition can be overwhelming—especially if you weren’t expecting it. Whether you agree with the divorce or not, how you respond matters. Missing deadlines or filing the wrong documents can affect your legal rights, from property division to child custody and support.
This step-by-step guide will walk you through the divorce response process, explain your legal options, and help you avoid common mistakes—so you can protect yourself and move forward with confidence.
What Is a Divorce Petition?
A divorce petition (also called a petition for dissolution of marriage or a complaint for divorce) is the legal document that starts the divorce process. It’s filed by the petitioner (your spouse) and officially served to the respondent (you).
The petition outlines:
- That your spouse is asking the court for a divorce
- Their requests for custody, support, and property division
- Any specific allegations or legal grounds for the divorce
Once you receive it, you are legally required to respond—usually within 20 to 30 days, depending on your state.
Step 1: Read the Divorce Petition Carefully
Before doing anything, take time to review the petition line by line. It contains the foundation of what your spouse is asking for.
Look for:
- The grounds for divorce (e.g., irreconcilable differences, fault-based claims)
- Requests for child custody, spousal support, or division of assets
- Any false or disputed claims that you may want to challenge
Make notes of anything you disagree with or need clarification on.
Step 2: Check Your Deadline to Respond
Each state sets a specific time limit for filing a response—typically:
- 20 days: Florida, Texas, Arizona
- 21 days: Michigan, Utah
- 30 days: California, New York, Illinois
If you miss the deadline, your spouse can request a default judgment, meaning the court could grant everything they requested without your input.
Tip: If you need more time, you can usually file a request for a short extension.
Step 3: Decide How You Want to Respond
You generally have three options when responding to a divorce petition:
1. Agree with Everything (Uncontested Divorce)
You can file a response that agrees with all terms in the petition. This can lead to a quicker and simpler divorce process.
2. Disagree with Some or All Terms (Contested Divorce)
You can challenge one or more aspects—such as custody, child support, or property division. This will usually lead to negotiation or court hearings.
3. Do Nothing (Not Recommended)
If you don’t respond, your spouse can request a default judgment. The judge may approve all of their requests, even if they’re unfair.
Step 4: Prepare Your Formal Response
This is often called an Answer or Response to Petition for Divorce. You may also file a Counter-Petition if you want to make your own requests.
Typical components of your response:
- Admit or deny each statement in the petition
- List your own claims (e.g., request joint custody, spousal support)
- Sign and date the response
- Include a verification statement (swearing everything is true)
Many courts offer fill-in-the-blank forms online. Others require typed legal documents with specific formatting.
Step 5: File Your Response With the Court
Once your response is complete:
- File it with the same court where the petition was filed
- Pay the filing fee (usually $100–$300, varies by state)
- Keep copies for your records
If you can’t afford the fee, ask the clerk for a fee waiver form (often called “In Forma Pauperis”).
Step 6: Serve a Copy to Your Spouse
You must provide your spouse (or their attorney) with a copy of your response.
Acceptable service methods usually include:
- Certified mail with return receipt
- Personal delivery
- Serving through a process server (in contested cases)
File a proof of service with the court once completed.
Step 7: Prepare for the Next Steps in the Case
After your response is filed, the divorce process moves into the next phase:
- Financial disclosures (you and your spouse exchange details on income, assets, and debts)
- Temporary orders (child custody, support, property use)
- Mediation or negotiation
- Trial or final hearing (if no agreement is reached)
How you respond sets the tone—so be thoughtful and organized from the beginning.
Real-World Example: Timely Response Prevents Default
Monica was served divorce papers in California. She disagreed with the custody terms and property split. Instead of panicking, she downloaded court-approved forms, filed her response within 30 days, and requested joint custody.
Because she responded on time and properly served her spouse, Monica protected her legal rights and was able to negotiate a fair parenting plan through mediation.
FAQs: Responding to a Divorce Petition
Q1: Do I need a lawyer to respond?
Not always. In uncontested cases, you may be able to respond on your own using court forms. In contested cases or if complex assets/children are involved, legal advice is recommended.
Q2: Can I request child custody or support in my response?
Yes. You can include these requests in your answer or file a counter-petition to formally make your own demands.
Q3: What happens if I miss the deadline?
Your spouse can request a default judgment, and the court may rule in their favor without hearing your side.
Q4: What if I live in a different state than where the petition was filed?
Jurisdiction rules vary. You may be able to contest the location, but you still need to respond to the petition promptly—even if just to raise jurisdictional issues.
Q5: Can I stop the divorce by responding?
No. If your spouse wants a divorce, you cannot prevent it by refusing to participate. Your response only affects the terms—not the outcome of whether the divorce proceeds.
Final Thoughts: Your Response Sets the Tone
How you respond to a divorce petition can shape the entire case. It’s your first opportunity to protect your rights, present your perspective, and participate in decisions that will impact your family, finances, and future.
Be prompt, be accurate, and be informed. If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to your local family court for resources—or seek legal advice before filing. The clock starts ticking the moment you’re served, so don’t wait to take action.
